Reasons for Divorce

More than 50% of first marriages end in divorce.  Separating after a marriage of any length of time can be emotionally and physically devastating.  An attorney can guide you through this difficult process and help you make good decisions despite the emotionally charged situation.  There are many reasons for divorce but here are the most common.

Reasons for Divorce

Money

Financial difficulties cause more than a little marital discord. Different attitudes towards money and financial hardships can create arguments and disharmony within a marriage.  If you are a spender while your spouse is a saver you are automatically forced to find financial compromises.  If both spouses are not committed to finding middle ground it can cause resentment and anger.  Financial hardships such as a job loss or overwhelming debt can create a much higher daily stress level for both parties and lead to tension and frustration.  Additionally, one spouse may be the primary breadwinner and use this position to have more financial control in the relationship.  Unfortunately, during a divorce it is not an uncommon tactic for one party to try and hide assets or lie about net worth in an attempt to avoid evenly splitting assets or trying to obtain a lower spousal support obligation.  An attorney can be incredibly helpful with requiring an otherwise less than forthcoming spouse to produce documentation regarding income and assets.

Infidelity

Infidelity is generally a symptom of other problems in the marriage but can be a direct route to divorce court. The infidelity of a spouse can lead to debilitating trust issues and create unrepairable cracks within a marriage.  With regards to divorce, infidelity will not generally impact a settlement or child custody issues, in particular if you are a resident of a no fault state.  Florida is one of many no fault states which means that during the course of a divorce neither party has to prove fault or responsibility for the demise of the marriage.  A divorce can be granted if the marriage is irretrievably broken, which basically means neither spouse wants to continue the marriage.

Growing apart

Sometimes relationships end because both spouses have simply grown apart. In a relationship over time both people grow and evolve and can come to want different things.  If those goals are no longer shared it can create a rift between spouses that ends in divorce.  Not every divorce is combative.  There are many couples that find they are able to peacefully decide they no longer want to be married.  Even if you are able to come to amicable divorce terms with your soon to be ex-spouse it is a good idea to have an attorney review any settlement agreement to make sure there are not obvious inequities or items that have been overlooked.  For instance, if you and your soon to be ex-spouse have agreed on spousal support, have you also agreed on the term?  Will the support be modifiable or unmodifiable?  There are many small details that can be missed and legal documents that must be drawn up and filed properly to be legally binding.

Getting married for the wrong reasons in the first place

Sometime people get married when they are very young or if a baby is on the way. Getting married may seem like the right answer but with time and hindsight may not be the best choice after all.  Regardless of the reasons, getting married makes separating all the more challenging.  When dealing with a divorce, you are not just dealing with the loss of the relationship but are also dealing with splitting two households, shared financial obligations and possible child custody and support issues.  A divorce attorney can advise you of your rights during a divorce and help you understand your state’s laws.  For instance, the state of Florida has a standard child support calculator that you can use to estimate support.  Your individual child’s needs may vary but this will give you and your attorney a place to start when evaluating child support.

Lack of Commitment

Marriage is hard and the more years you are married the more challenges you will face. Both parties in a marriage have to be absolutely committed to making the marriage work.  If one person is unwilling or unable to give that commitment the marriage is doomed to fail.  When a marriage is struggling it can often be challenging to discern if the marriage is still worth fighting for.  One person cannot maintain a relationship built around two people.  If one spouse has checked out of the marriage divorce may be inevitable.  Dealing with a partner that is less committed can be painful and moving towards a divorce is very emotional.  When it comes to divorce your attorney can help you find perspective and offer you unbiased legal advice.  When you are in the midst of something as difficult as a divorce it can be hard to think rationally and maintain your objectivity.

Abuse

Domestic abuse is shockingly common. Here are some of the most startlingly statistics:

  • “One in four women (25%) has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime.
  • Between 600,000 and 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 and 6 million men, depending on the type of survey used to obtain the data.
  • Women and men of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.
  • Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income.

With incidents of abuse so high, this is an unfortunately common cause of divorce.  If you or a loved one are suffering abuse, please get help.  Domesticshelters.org gives links and information for abuse services as well as an emergency shelter contact if needed.  There can be special protocols when filing for divorce for abuse victims.  Your attorney can advise you of what to expect and how to best proceed to help ensure your safety.

Divorce can be devastating.  It is important that you use all available help to assist you in making clear headed decisions and plan for your future.  Your divorce attorney will advocate for you and help you find your way during this difficult time.

Dave Roy has been practicing law in Florida for more than 20 years. He enjoys taking on cases from the “average Joe” and is experienced in personal injury, family law and criminal law—particularly DUI defense.

Dave attended the University of Miami School of Law where he became the Editor-in-Chief of the University of Miami School of Law newspaper, The Res Ipsa Loquitur. He founded Roy & Associates, P.A. shortly after graduating from law school and has been helping people achieve justice ever since.

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